Dedication & Discipline

I must confess, I have very little of this type of double D..

But as someone with a staggering 22 years of life experience and wisdom, even I realize these two character traits are undeniably correlated to one’s success. Doesn’t matter if these are small successes such as getting up within five minutes without snoozing for an hour, or not stuffing your face with chocolate and sugar every day. Some people are emotional eaters and every day is full of emotions OKAY…

Or major milestones such as writing a blog and not quitting after three entries. The bars I set for myself are just too high sometimes, I know.

Only problem is, as I’ve mentioned before, I have practically none of the double D traits. Wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t love success, but unfortunately I do. Success is something I’m quite sure most people strive for every day, whatever shape that might be in. 

Let’s start with the first: Dedication

If you listen to all the celebrities, self-help books, self-proclaimed gurus etc. dedication in some way or form is always mentioned as a key essential. No shit, every idiot can come up with that..  Dedication, or even obsession it seems nowadays, is up up up the way to the top.

Now let’s sketch my troubling issue with this: First, it’s useful to know that I frequently come up with new ideas on things I could do, learn, be. Seriously, they pop up in my mind at least a couple times a week.

And I like those thoughts. They are ambitious but not unreachable, just goals that require me to work hard for them. I also love the fact that new ideas are constantly formed in my mind, without even having to actively search for them. This part of the creative process I’m actually quite good at.

Woohoo, I’m good at something!

Only thing is, these project ideas are ambitious enough that I really should choose just one or two of them to focus on completely in order to pursue them properly. And naturally that…. NEVER HAPPENS.

What does happen is that I continuously fall in love with new project prospects and possibilities. My dedication is therefore spread VERY thinly. So thin, that in the end I don’t do ANY of the ideas I had in mind. This blog is the perfect example: I decided I wanted to start 7 (!!!) months ago, and only posted my first article a few days ago.

Uhhh well…. you know….  I.. uuhhh… was just reeaalllyyy busy with uhmm.. all the other wonderful activities my life has to uhh.. offer. Uhhh yeah, that’s it, because I wasn’t watching Netflix and lying in my bed staring at the ceiling way too many hours noooooo.

So dedication is my problem número uno, but discipline is perhaps an even more foreign word to me at times. I have 0, absolutely 0 grams of discipline.

There’s just too many examples to tell. Let’s just say I am perfectly able to distract myself from doing even the smallest task. And it’s astounding how useless these procrastination attempts are. You know how some people complain with “O M G, I really had to study but instead I procrastinated by cleaning my room. It’s sooo bad.” Uhhhhh NO! Starting a new series on Netflix you actually don’t even want to watch while methodically strolling through Instagram, then deciding you should really read everything there is about some unknown American actor you found on your discovery page until you somehow end up reading the Wikipedia page on High Fives 5 hours later, now that’s bad.

My lack of self-control still astonishes me sometimes.

Because of the absence of the double D, one of the truest descriptions of my current self is that I always start new plans but rarely finish them. Which is undeniably my fear for this blog as well.

But enough with the self-pity! I’m still young, not completely shriveled up in my ways yet, so I’m still able to grow, change, learn.

It’s time to stop complaining, and to start improving. Right now, my priority is this blog and I won’t allow myself to tangle my mind up in a web of new ideas. Although I am toying with the idea of trying something new every month… NO INGE NO, first get this blog running! Dammit!

No, in all seriousness, I think my dedication is getting there. Let’s hope discipline will follow. That would already be a success in itself.

Who else feels this way at times? What worked for you to improve your double D? What do you think the gurus would say?

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FYI: Please don’t think I’m too hard on myself, or hate myself just cause I’m pointing out a flaw that I can work on. I love myself, seriously I think I’m great 😉 These articles just use a magnifying glass to enlarge small parts of my personality. Wanting to grow and improve yourself is healthy and should always be stimulated!

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